More Men in the News – Killing Ailing Wives and Calling it “Mercy”

Here are a few recent killings that have made news around the country –

New Rochelle man charged with murder in ‘mercy killing’ (NY):

Paul Weinstein told police that an argument with his wife ”set him off“ and that he shot her dead in their New Rochelle home after he failed to suffocate her with a pillow.

Later in the article, he says his wife was “losing it” and that he’d promised to help her kill herself rather than put her in a nursing home or other facility.  He has no proof of that, though.

Police cite claim of mercy killing (AZ):

A 56-year-old woman was killed by her husband early Thursday in what police say was intended to be a murder-suicide.
Police received a 911 call at 4:43 a.m. from a 51-year-old man who said he had just killed his wife and then had taken pills in an attempt to take his own life, said Sgt. Fabian Pacheco, a Tucson Police Department spokesman.

While the article is unclear, it appears that he shot his wife and attempted to kill himself through a drug overdose, but called 911 when he apparently changed his mind about killing himself.

Man accused in shooting described as caring (HI)

(Happily, this is a case in which the murder attempt did not succeed)

Seventy-one-year-old Robert Yagi had tended daily to his terminally ill wife’s needs and kept her company since she was hospitalized in October.

Now he faces a charge of attempted murder after allegedly firing a plastic flare gun at her Tuesday night.

A police affidavit filed with the court to support the charge says Yagi “may have tried to end his life at the same time using another loaded orange flare gun” loaded with 12-gauge buckshot.

His wife, Leatrice, suffered only minor injuries when she was shot as she lay in her hospital bed at Castle Medical Center.

This is fairly typical of the cases of successful or attempted murder/suicides seen in elderly people.  The perpetrators are men.  The women have have significant health issues.  There is no evidence that the wives in question wanted to die.

Nevertheless, that didn’t stop a spokesperson for the Hawaii Death with Dignity Society from attempting to exploit this last case of domestic violence to promote his own organization’s agenda:

Scott Foster, spokesman for the Hawaii Death with Dignity Society, believes Yagi was trying to end his wife’s suffering.

“When I saw it (on the news), I knew exactly what I was hearing,” he said. “We hear it all the time all over the world, rich people, poor people, people in pain, people suffering.”
He said Hawaii came close in 2002 to passing a law to allow assisted suicide. The so-called Death with Dignity bill died when three state senators changed their votes at the last minute following intense lobbying by opponents.

 So how, exactly does this relate to any legalization of assisted suicide?   There is no indication that Yagi’s wife wanted or wants to be killed.  Or does Mr. Foster believe there should be some sort of law allowing caregivers to order the euthanasia of their spouse or child?

In fact, Foster is just doing what many representatives of pro-euthanasia groups have been doing for years – exploiting cases of domestic violence in which the victim is an elderly, disabled, ill woman by framing them as acts of compassion.

For more information on the research on these types of domestic violence, please read this previous blog entry, in which the research of Professor Donna Cohen is discussed.  Interestingly, she gave a presentation at a Compassion and Choices Symposium in October.  I cannot think of any excuse for the continued exploitation of these tragedies by assisted suicide/euthanasia advocates after that.  –Stephen Drake

5 thoughts on “More Men in the News – Killing Ailing Wives and Calling it “Mercy”

  1. The news media is difficult to counteract. It makes the most base acts look like they have a point.

    If you compare a newspaper with a blog, you’ll see what I mean. The first one is tolerated as credible and the second can be spat on as the workings of some bitchy person’s navel-gazing. In fact I sometimes think blogs are counter-productive but what else can you do if you want to correct public misinformation and save lives?

    The news media is slick and trendy. It’s bad and unethical. But because it has a particular style it becomes the message. Readers of the media actually believe that newspapers are governed by rules and the government looks after us.

    Where there is denial, you will find your biggest obstacle to truth. Blogs on truth preach to the converted, newspaper editorials and TV talking heads will convert with their easy persuasions to destroy ourselves.

    The media has the advantage in being seen as informative. So… we now see the population being “informed” that mercy killing is a great thing and the latest fashion accessory for those in the know.

    This is a huge subversive wave upon us telling us to kill our loved ones and it’s aimed at those who are the least culturally protected by taboos or traditions. It’s crude and boorish and lacks all taste but the media makes it cool. It is a war.

    Case in point: I can’t tell if Ms Cohen is for or against mercy killing or what that symposium was about. It’s all so prettied up.

    The test is, can they just come out and call it murder? Why all the euphemisms? Is the actual service they are providing a climate of RE-phrasing what’s being done so that we will euthanize and organ donate without having to realize what we’re doing?

    Gee thanks, with friends like this who needs enemies? It’s time to stop being so darn polite and taking it… This is why we are targeted.

  2. The dialogue has been the same for several years: older man kills wife, also older, claims “did it to help her” (laughable on its face, if you have Vonnegut-type or Lenny Bruce-type view of the world, as I do)… Is there any precedent for a man receive “punishment” for killing her? Not that I can recall.

    Related “assisted suicide”: woke during “This American Life”, last segment, NPR and heard talk of suicide…woman’s son called her and, the person telling the interviewer said, suggested she might be depressed so he invited her out to some musuems. She said, the interviewed man said (heresay, I add), she’d think about it and call him (her son)back.

    She took overdose of medications, the interviewed man said. Interviewer said, “She had a bag over her head.”. And not much reply to that gruesome bit.
    But she didn’t tell her son she was going to commit suicide, the interviewer said, Interviewed man said, “She didn’t want him to feel bad.” (Yes, that’s what he said.)
    He went on, “her sister died in a car crash 6 months later and she would have felt bad.” (Exact quote.)

    Man being interviewed said she’d decided to take the medications “while she could still think clearly”. How does he know? He got there after she was dead, he said, hoping she was dead. He cried, he said. The words “assisted suicide” were used.
    Segment ended quickly and show then had spot “See our Christmas gifts” (online). My thought: playing suicide suggestion for old people in the season when people feel really bad, Christmas, at being alone, poor, and/or ill/disabled, and not finding the media driven fantasy of Christmas. It was a “Soylent Green”(the movie) moment to me.
    Final thought: if the woman was so so ill, how could she be going out to museums? I think the show was a rerun of last Christmas season show, not sure. Propaganda again!
    (I heard it on the radio. No, I won’t go to the website to listen to the whole thing.)

  3. misterc,

    I don’t know if Donna Cohen is in favor of legalized assisted suicide or not. It could be that she is in favor of a narrow law – which is, of course, something I disagree with. But, as I said, I really don’t know.

    To me, it’s not really relevant. Her research is important and cuts through a lot of the media and stereotypical crap. She has specifically complained about framing these incidents as acts of compassion.

  4. Taking care of someone who needs total care is very stressful. I do not advocate mercy killing in the least, but can see how challenging care can lead to that point.

    Though some activist groups are advocating more help, more funds, more options, more rights, all of these things are not here right now. I am dealing with an elderly MIL who needs nearly total care now, and it is one tough go even with the help we have. The stress has aged my husband, soured my kids and really hit me as well.

    We are no where near the end of our ropes but can see where others could be. The expense,time, effort, stress, physical exertion, emotional upheaval is terrible. The fact of the matter is that disabled folks need able bodied folks to help, and when someone is very disable, the help needed can be 24/7 and complete. It means little time for ones own life and getting others to pitch in, even on a paid basis is difficult.

    If things degenerate to a point where we feel it is hurting all of us, she will have to go to a nursing home, much as she does not like the idea, nor do we. She has had briefs stays at homes, and just does not get the care and attention there that she gets here. She seems to go down hill more rapidly and does regain function here with us.

    There may be some out there who enjoy or feel blessed in taking care of someone very needy, but not many I know. The lives some of these dependent folks lead is not good at all, and I have seen many old ailing folks ask for the end. This is with the full battalion of mental health folks and aids, depression meds, you name it. When you cannot move on your own, it really is tough if you don’t have someone right there all of the time, and that is a privilege few people have.

  5. Catherine,

    Everyone has their limits and they vary from person to person. But as your message makes clear, the term “mercy killing” that you used in the first sentence is a misnomer. The term implies an act of compassion of some kind, when in fact they are acts of desperation. The term “mercy killing” just serves to help us avoid the real issues, doesn’t it?

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